The Last Doesn't Come with a Warning
Nov 20, 2020
THE LAST DOESN’T COME WITH A WARNING
The last hug.
The last kiss.
The last time.
The last goodbye.
There is no warning for when the last happens.
I want to begin this episode with the disclaimer that what I’m talking about here today can feel heavy but it’s the reality and it’s my job to give you perspective.
It was like any other normal day. My phone rang and it said Mom. I talk to my mom multiple times a day so with no thought I answered - only to hear the words of her cracking voice trying to tell me “I have bad news!”
The worst kind of phone call to get.
I immediately sat up in my bed as my heart sank and my thoughts quickly moved to my dad.
“What?” I demanded. Just as much as I didn’t want to know I needed to know. “What is going on?” I said.
Through her sobs, I pieced together that my Uncle was in a car accident and he didn’t make it.
It was like the world paused for a moment.
“Noooo wayyy!!” I blurted out in complete shock.
When, how … were my responses.
I just saw him at Stop and Shop a few days ago. I jokingly said to him “are you just gonna walk by us and not even say hi?” because it’s not in his nature to avoid anyone. He loved people and always made everyone feel special. In fact, he told me and Nyla that he doesn’t recognize anyone in these masks and then proceeded to tell Nyla how beautiful she looked in hers. That is just sooo him.
If I had known that would be my last interaction with him, it would’ve been so different. If I had I known it would be the last time I would see or speak with him, I would have hugged him. I would’ve told him thank you for being the kind of man that would give an arm or leg for anyone in need. Thank you for being the glue that kept our family wholesome. Thank you for being such a light in our lives. Thank you for all the laughs, the memories and the impact you’ve had on me and the community. Thank you for the special bond you’ve created with Nyla. Thank you for being a best friend to my dad.
Ya, see the last doesn’t come with a warning. The last happens and it’s only after that you realize it was the last. With that, we wish for one last time to hug and tell them just how special they are. Or the impact they’ve had on our life.
That last doesn’t come with a warning. But I need you to understand and hear me on this - I’m not saying to live in fear that you may never see someone again.
The message is this - if you love someone, tell them. If someone has made you feel special in any kind of way, tell them. There is NO reason to hold back the love we have for one another. Why wait until we wish we have more time to say the things that are meaningful?
The message during my uncle’s service rocked me to the core. You must prepare for sudden tragedy and the way you do that is to LIVE.
It’s not the details of the tragedy that matter. It’s the quality of life that has been lived that prepares us for the end.
How many of us are just walking around on auto-pilot? Meaning we follow the same mundane task day in and day out. We aren’t truly doing what makes us happy but rather we are doing for some sorta survival.
The job you hate, you do it for the paycheck not because it sets your soul on fire.
The toxic marriage you’re in, you stay for the sake of your kids not your own happiness.
The risks you don’t take because of fear of failure or judgement.
The exercise you do, you do it because you hate your body not because you’re honoring it.
The diet, makes you feel like a failure but you keep doing it anyway with the hopes that it will bring you happiness in the long run.
So again, are we really LIVING?
I ask myself this question often.
We are given one life to live (as cheesy as it sounds). Isn’t it time we make the best of it regardless of the fear we feel, the judgement we’re afraid of or the doubt that holds us back?
While I’ve mainly applied this to the death of a loved one, it can come it all forms - especially parenthood.
The last time you pick up your child.
The last time you carry them around.
The last time you tuck them into bed.
The last time they beg for your attention.
The last time they actually really need you.
Life is moving at lightning speed.
We know this, yet we can’t seem to slow ourselves down until we are hit with the reality of the last.
Let’s make a pact … can we agree that we are gonna make this life a well lived life? One with experiences that make our hearts beat faster with excitement, our smiles bigger and our relationships richer?
The choice is ours.
Here’s my challenge to you ...
Do me a favor today, reach out to someone you love, respect, admire and tell them just how special they are. Don’t wait to wish you had one more chance. Because truthfully, you may not get it.
Hug your child. Tell them what you love about them and why you are so blessed to be their parent.
Be a sponge, soak it all in and don’t take any moment you have for granted as it could be the last.
The last doesn’t come with a warning.